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5 More Songs For Your Summer Playlist

You’ve already downloaded all of the music I encouraged you to listen to for your summer playlist, but now you’re thinking, “Hey, drunk guy on the Internet, these songs are great, but my cat is going to hate me if I keep listening to them over and over.” I hate to be the one to tell you, but you should know that your cat hates you no matter what, because cats are dicks. I can’t help you with that.

But I can help you with the music. I’ve collected more music for you so that you can invest your time in drinking on patios, talking about how nice the weather is, and going to therapy with your cat to resolve your issues.

1. Mark Foster, A-Trak, and Kimbra – Warrior

You know Mark Foster from the band Foster the People (the guys with the shoe fetish). You remember A-Trak as that thing you listened to in the 80s, or the early 2000s if you’re from Putnam County. And if you don’t know Kimbra by name, you probably at least recognize her as that naked girl in that really sad Gotye video.

Converse decided to do what any good shoe company would do, put them all together and make the most entertaining three minute and fifty second shoe commercial I’ve ever seen.

See also: Good Intent (this is @shelldash and I’s song, so you people better not tarnish it)

2. Scissor Sisters vs Krystal Pepsy – Shady Love

We know the Scissor Sisters like to fuck with us, it’s sort of been their thing since the beginning, and when I first heard this song, I hated it. But the second listen completely hooked me. This song is infectious and catchy and doesn’t let you get comfortable, and the video that accompanies it is charming, entertaining, and morbid.

Video Highlights: Literally anything these kids do in this video … Jake Shears borderline rapping heterosexually-charged lyrics.

See also: Kiss You Off

3. Ladyhawke – Black White and Blue

Ladyhawke is from New Zealand, so you know she’s like, interesting. I don’t have much to say about her, other than that I’ve been listening to her music for awhile, and that she never disappoints. I think she’s a lesbian, which is probably why I kind of want to bang her. Summer brings out my inner heterosexual, and my inner heterosexual really digs lesbians.

See also: My Delirium

4. Hyper Crush – Werk Me

Hyper Crush clearly started as just a bunch of rich kids in LA goofing around with audio equipment and spending their parents’ money to fund their pop garbage music. For all I know they might still be that.

But it doesn’t matter how trashy the lyrics are, if you give me a duet with electronic beats, I’m going to fall in lust/love. This is the kind of song that I claim I don’t like by day but then find myself screaming “I LOVE THIS SONG” as I’m peeling my shirt off at a late night warehouse party.

Video Highlights: LOL OMG … Glitter Booties

See also: Maniac

5. Paloma Faith – Picking Up the Pieces

Sad but upbeat, like the way Seattle summers are never really sunny, this one will give your playlist some heartfelt lyrical legitimacy after your friends hear Werk Me and start slut-shaming you.

Sidenote: Slut-shaming friends and family is a summer classic if you need a fun activity for this season. The idea is to slut-shame loud enough that nobody notices you making out with that 7-Eleven cashier at the bus stop.

Paloma Faith, who despite her name is neither a Christian country star or a drag queen, is back this summer with that powerhouse voice and ritzy style that made you wonder if she was a Christian country star or a drag queen in the first place.

She’s neither. I think.

See also: Stone Cold Sober

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Keep on enjoying another beautiful summer, and remember, if you don’t sleep with your best friend’s brother during a weekend trip to your parents’ lake house, you’re not doing it right.

I Made Your Summer Playlist… Well, at Least the First 5 Songs of It

It’s almost summer everyone (unless you live in Phoenix with me, where it’s summer all year long, suck on that Ohio).

So fire up the grills, dust off the swimsuits, and get that eating disorder back in order, because it’s time to crank up the tunes and enjoy yourself.

I know y’all are lazy, and being lazy is the most important part of summer. So I’m doing you a favor and giving you a head start on your summer playlist. Start listening and downloading now.

1. Dragonette – Let It Go

I can’t get enough of this band, or their lead singer, Martina Sorbara. The mix of rock, pop, and electronica pushes all of my special buttons, and the lyrics, even when simple, have a way of cutting into all the hidden emotions I store in my gut and spilling them on the floor. It’s very therapeutic, like popping a zit and squeezing all the puss out.

When this song came into my Twitter feed, I squealed with delight and bombarded my headphones with it for the rest of the day.

Everybody I’ve talked to about this song has described it by saying “it sounds like summer.” They’re right, and it doesn’t get much more summer than just letting it go.

2. Alphabeat – Vacation

Alphabeat is cheesy, Europop-disco fun. Every song this Danish band releases fits perfectly into a summer playlist, but their latest single Vacation defines it. This song came into my Twitter feed the week after I got back from a weekend in West Hollywood, and it made me want to hop in the car and drive right back.

This song is perfect for listening to while drinking margaritas in your convertible, and is sure to put a spring in your step as you attempt to pass a highway sobriety test.

See also: Heatwave, DJ

3. Marina and the Diamonds – Primadonna

Marina and the Diamonds has always used the pop sounds and elaborate costumes that come with traditional pop, but includes clever lyrics, cutting satire, and an almost bitter bite into the modern culture of excess and indulgence.

Her recent release Primadonna, part of her Electra Hart project, brings all of that together and then some. I recommend playing it while trying to convince your boyfriend to buy you some new summer heels.

See also: Radioactive, Hollywood, Oh No

4. Childish Gambino – Heartbeat

I stumbled upon Donald Glover’s music alias Childish Gambino while relentlessly stalking him. I’ve had a crush on him ever since I first saw him on Community, and when I found out he was a comedian, a model, and a musician, the flapping butterflies inside me spawned a thousand tornadoes.

The fact that this much talent, charm, and handsomeness exists in one human being is scientific proof that evolution is real.

See also: Grind

5. Natalia Kills – Kill My Boyfriend

I’ve been a fan of Natalia Kills for awhile now, and I keep watching her scraping and clawing her way towards the top, but she hasn’t quite gained the momentum to break through. Probably because all of her songs are about fucking and murdering people (sometimes both).

Sure, most of her songs fit into a darker realm of pop not fitting for summer, but Kill My Boyfriend is upbeat, bright, and injected with a vial of sardonic spite that makes you want to dance and sing along.

And let’s be serious, it’s summer, which means you just got dumped so your significant other could free themselves up to spend more time making out with strangers. Don’t act like you don’t have some leftover resentment to invest into this song.

See also: Mirrors

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Enjoy your summer everybody.

And remember, if you’re not giving a coworker a hand job under a blanket at a company picnic, you’re not doing it right.

Tequila and Ink

Sometimes you just need to have a drink and Glitter Dunn

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